A Letter To My Growing Baby

Dear Mason:

I prayed for you and my heart yearned to have you in my womb but the specialists told me that I couldn’t have another baby. People at church said they saw me pregnant with you but I didn’t believe that because my dream of holding you was so shattered I had to surrender, I am so thankful that God had a bigger plan.

I went on vacation with your father and sister and there you were conceived but I didn’t know it. I took a flight on a business trip after that to Vegas and became very sick which delayed my scheduled kidney surgery. When I got home my spirit led me to buy a pregnancy test, I remember standing in the store talking to myself that I couldn’t possibly be pregnant and sure enough the test came back positive. In disbelief I bought two more tests and all came back positive. With wonder I scheduled a doctor’s appointment and on the day I was supposed to have kidney surgery; thanks to the delay of severe bronchitis it had been cancelled, and that’s the day I found out you were in my womb. I sang to you, nurtured you, ate healthy foods and took plenty of fish oil to ensure you had a great start to your life. On May 11^th 2004 you were born, making my Mother’s Day the best gift in the world. You came with challenges, I nearly died from lack of doctor care and from bandage burns removing my skin I could barely hold you for the first 2 weeks but how amazing it was to hear your cry.

I am sorry that things didn’t work out between your Dad and I we have certainly experienced life changes together, from the loss of 3 family members to living in three states. Your giggle brings so much joy. All of those days and nights crying out for you to be conceived I could never have imagined a better boy than you are today.

Life with you has been the most incredible journey, from TV appearances to acting auditions and gigs your gorgeous blonde hair and blue eyes still light up my world and make my heart sing. I can’t believe you are turning 12 now and your heart and light are so big and bright you continue to shine everywhere you go. What a special treasure you are not just to me but the rest of the world. I have and always promise to be there for you to teach you great old fashion values and life skills, ones that will never be learned from a textbook. I promise to encourage you to always be the best you can be and to be the authentic person you were created as. I will wipe and collect your tears, provide my shoulder for you to cry on and give you healing hugs when you get hurt. I am sorry if my words are not always perfect but I promise to always do my best in providing you with an amazing life together filled with the most valuable time together that money can’t buy.

Be all that you can be and I vow to be the best Mom that you could have ever asked for. Thank you for filling my eyes with happy tears Mason and my heart with unstoppable joy, you will always be my Bean.

To My Amazing Grace

Mommy will always love you more than your heart can every hold.