A Single Mother’s job is never ending, the love and care that they supply for their children can be tiring yet rewarding and it requires a lot of organization behind the scenes. In a recent interview I was asked why I felt Single Mother’s Day needed to be celebrated and here’s what I had to say.
Why should single mothers be celebrated—particularly on Mother’s Day?
Single Mothers should be celebrated every day and especially on Mother’s Day. It’s rare to get a
day off unless your ex takes the kids. Many of us single mothers have no back up, if we get a
call from school, we have to ask permission to leave the office and take care of our child. If they
wake up with the stomach bug that’s a day missed from work and if they forget their homework
we are the ones running it to the school. From school meal prep, to homework check, to
healthcare and bedtime schedules we are always on the job. But our duties don’t end there, it’s
juggling household chores, personal care, friends, family, pets, holiday and travel prep, running
errands, fixing things, and a whole lot more. I’m constantly finding myself saying, “I need more
hours in my day.” Single Mothers wear their capes, fly through the day as super heroes all while
trying to take a few moments by themselves to just breath, that’s why we need to be recognized
and celebrated. We truly are the glue that holds the pieces of life for our children together.
What is it about Mother’s Day that prevents single moms from feeling appreciated or being celebrated?
The number one stumbling block on Mother’s Day that prevents single moms from feeling
appreciated or celebrated is time off. Unless we have a significant other in our lives we are
forfeiting our day to child-care. At that point we have a choice, be upset and feel devalued or
consider the many women that wish they could have a child but instead they adopted a pet. At
the end of the day it comes down to choice and mindset and I personally choose to find the
happy in the health of my boy.
What hardships do single mom’s face that most of society can’t see or relate to?
Single Moms although some may have a great paying job it’s still a household with less earning
potential. So funds can run low as well as time. I often get asked, “How do you do all that you do?”
The reality is, I don’t think about it, I just do it because at the end of the day, there is no back up.
Can you further explain some of the pressures single moms face and the stigma of being a single mother?
I have faced many stigmas as being a single mother, from how will you manage to handle it all,
to will you be able to pay the rent on time? If only they knew my credentials instead of judging
me by my outward status, divorced. That’s exactly what it is, a word, it doesn’t define who all of
us single moms are. Many of us are tough and we find a way to make things work. Society is
brain washed into believing that if a single parent raises children, there is lack and although a
child does benefit from having both healthy minded parents in their life there are a lot of myths
to the thought process. Although my son wishes his Dad would spend more time with him, he is
far from lacking, I get told every week by someone about how mindful my son is. Children are as
strong as the environment we as single moms create for them. Just because we are single
doesn’t mean that we are broken or have a disease. Many of us have chosen to take time to ourselves, connect from within, improve our mindset and celebrate ourselves so we receive the respect that we deserve. Can you briefly describe what your life as a single parent looks like?
Here’s a peak at my life as a single parent:
5:45am the alarm goes off and I wake up my son for high school I will go back to bed and catch
a moment of rest or catch up on emails
6:30am the alarm goes off and I race downstairs to make my son’s lunch and see him off to the
bus stop
6:50am Take care of the dog, juice, lemon water whatever is on the health plan I scramble to
get my lunch and snacks ready for the office.
7:20-7:45 home office work including paying bills, emails, social media, goal setting etc.
7:45 make the beds, shower get ready for the office
9:00 Breakfast usually an avocado and a boiled egg, as there isn’t much time
9:15 leave for the office and commute a 45 minute drive where I will make calls from the car to
catch up on my to do tasks.
9:55 Arrive at the office where I am jammed packed with appointments until 4:30
4:30-5:30pm- commute time and running errands- more calls from the car
6:30-7:00 arrive at home prepare dinner sometimes I have scheduled appointments in the
evening for reporting (I almost always have a sit down dinner at the table with my son to catch
up on the day, as brief as it may sometimes be)
8:00 clean up and meal preps
9:00 Homework check and office work, blogging, creating, emails, social media, etc.
10:00 I am getting my son off to bed, encouraging shower time, brush teeth etc. (you have to
stay on top of your kids)- I always give him a kiss goodnight and tell him how much I love and
appreciate him.
10:30 office wrap up
11:00 meditation for 20 minutes and get ready for bed
11:30pm Sleep time and I’m up and back at it again
I believe this is a really good look at what the life of a single mom is like. I am blessed that I
don’t work multiple jobs. I have raised my son on my own since he was 4 and he has always
lived with me full-time (my daughter is now grown and living on her own but there was a time I
cared for them both). Many women have multiple children and multiple jobs and they are truly
the ones that I consider heroes because I couldn’t possibly fit another thing into my day, I
already live by 2-day schedulers and I some how find a way to stay connected and make time
for my friends. I look back at the past 10 amazing years; 4 times moving, 3 states later, and
being single and I think, “How in the world did I do it?” I am thriving instead of surviving and that
is more than enough to be thankful for!
If you have heard of Korea’s Single Mother’s Day, can you describe what you know about
it?
May 11th is when Single Mother’s Day is celebrated in Korea and adoption & single mother
groups created it. Due to lack of social, financial and physical support, many women are forced
into overseas adoption in fact 70 percent of mothers at state-supported facilities relinquish their
children for adoption compared to the 1% in the U.S. Single mothers are stigmatized in South
Korea (they are shunned from society) so to promote awareness and break the stigma Single
Mother’s Day is celebrated, an opportunity to help bring these women out of the shadows and
provide them a venue for their voices to be heard.
Is there anything else you would like to add?
I would encourage everyone that if you have never lived the life of a single mom don’t judge,
step up and offer to help or at best follow one around for a day, get behind their eyes and it will
give the term Single Mom new meaning. It’s time to break down the barriers and celebrate,
creating a space of love, respect, and harmony.
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